This post is mostly home to the hilarity of days gone by, that I have been reminded of this week.
Jnr, aged about 7, in the line for a ride at a theme park: I'm gonna be a Jedi when I grow up.
Mr Pie: I am a Jedi now.
Jnr: No you aren't. Show us your lightsabre!
Me: *Sporfle*
Both children from the ages of 3 to 6, when in any shop that stocks ladies underthings.
*Spots bra aisle*
*runs up and dives in face first*
BOOBIEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
When Jnr was in Infants School and Snr was in the Juniors (keep up at the back)
Jnr: In school they said God created the world.
Snr: Well in MY school they said Evolution created the world as we know it.
Jnr: Religion!
Snr: Evolution!
Jnr: Religion!
*Cue it descending into a feeble wrestling match*
Snr as he is sat on Jnr's back: Submit! Admit your God is no match for Science!
And now that can come back to haunt them.
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
Friday, 31 December 2010
Another year...starting with fail.
The only New Years resolution I have ever managed to keep was the one I made back in 1997 to never, ever make another one. This year I have decided to finally start writing down all the hilarious and innocently innapropriate things my kids say, with the intention of showing them this blog when they are old enough to understand just why Mum used to collapse in fits of giggles when they said something.
This may not make sense to anyone who doesn't have a mucky mind, but fortunately mine is firmly in the gutter so I am set. If you have ever sniggered when a neighbour has innocently commented on their hedgerow and said they need to trim their bush, it may just be the Blog for you too ;)
I don't want this to come out as a wall'o'text so will just add a couple of examples now, and come back when I remember more.
Jnr loves WWE wrestling. His favourite 'character' is John Cena and he was telling an assembled mass of my friends all about Cena's personalised finisher move, the '5 knuckle shovel' That is shovel, people.
Jnr: So Cena does the 5 knuckle shovel...
Adults: *snerk* snigger
Jnr: What is wrong with the 5 knuckle shovel?
R: There is nothing wrong with it, it is perfectly healthy
Rest of adults: Exploded with laughter
Jnr: :$
Jnr again, out at one of those All you can eat places: I have fudge cake, with fudge sauce and fudge pieces. It is a fudge overload!
Not all of their comments are accidental smut, some are just plain hilarious in a 'I should reprimand him as that was quite rude, but I am too busy laughing' way.
Me: Does this jumper dress make me look fat?
Snr: No, the cheesecake you ate does that all on it's own.
This may not make sense to anyone who doesn't have a mucky mind, but fortunately mine is firmly in the gutter so I am set. If you have ever sniggered when a neighbour has innocently commented on their hedgerow and said they need to trim their bush, it may just be the Blog for you too ;)
I don't want this to come out as a wall'o'text so will just add a couple of examples now, and come back when I remember more.
Jnr loves WWE wrestling. His favourite 'character' is John Cena and he was telling an assembled mass of my friends all about Cena's personalised finisher move, the '5 knuckle shovel' That is shovel, people.
Jnr: So Cena does the 5 knuckle shovel...
Adults: *snerk* snigger
Jnr: What is wrong with the 5 knuckle shovel?
R: There is nothing wrong with it, it is perfectly healthy
Rest of adults: Exploded with laughter
Jnr: :$
Jnr again, out at one of those All you can eat places: I have fudge cake, with fudge sauce and fudge pieces. It is a fudge overload!
Not all of their comments are accidental smut, some are just plain hilarious in a 'I should reprimand him as that was quite rude, but I am too busy laughing' way.
Me: Does this jumper dress make me look fat?
Snr: No, the cheesecake you ate does that all on it's own.
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